Do Your Best For the Black Belt

Today at the cafe, I walked passed a table with several young children at it. I heard one of the girls tell her younger brother "in karate we do our best, otherwise we will never get the black belt." I wanted to stop and tell her to keep that attitude through the rest of her life.

I was feeling lonely today. The weather is overcast and cloudy, and it's been raining off and on, not normal for this area. It didn't help my mood. Then I kept running into people I know, and even if they just waved hello as they walked by, I realized I knew more people then I thought.

Honestly, I wasn't even intending to write a blog post. I was going to work on my outline for my NaNo novel this year, but then I realized the outline I already have started is in a notebook, at home, under my bed. I can't go home to get it until later tonight after I get off at Gymboree. I suppose I could just wing it, considering I'm just going to write the whole thing over again, but I actually don't remember the majority of what happens in this novel. Despite the fact that it's part of a series I've been working on for the majority of my writing life.

Speaking of my entire life, I turned 20 last week. That was weird. Not really, it doesn't feel any different then 19. It just feels weird that I'm 20 now, and all my friends are getting engaged, or married, or joining the military, or have kids. At what point did we all grow up, and why do I still feel like the child, left behind because her legs are to short to keep up? 

Oh.... Hi Guys

I think it's this time every year that I get this weird urge to blog, which is kind of funny because it means I could blog for months afterwards, or you won't hear from me again for another year... or three. Who knows. I had 10 comments waiting for moderation, they were all spam. Cool beans. I guess it's been awhile guys.

I think I've changed a lot since the last time I've posted on this blog. A lot of stuff has happened, good and bad.

I miss these kids like you wouldn't believe.

The biggest would have to be my trip Uganda. I think I might have mentioned that I was planning it before I stopped posting, or at least hoping to visit. Well, it happened. How was it? It changed my life, but not in the way that I thought it might.

For some reason before I left I had this big idea that I would go and meet a bunch of new people (which I did) and instantly become an awesome person, and know exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Haha, big surprise, that didn't happen. Aside from the fact that no one is perfect, even the road towards being so is long, not a quick 3 week whirlwind. Uganda did change me though. I went to step (or drastically leap) out of my comfort zone, and it gave me the courage to continually step outside of that comfort zone since I've been back. Job interviews stopped making me nervous. If I can fly half way across the world and live in a completely different culture for 3 weeks all by myself, then I can chat with the owner of a cafe and convince them that they want to hire me.

Apparently I did a pretty good job of it too. I'm working two jobs now. I'm bussing tables at a bakery and cafe. It can be fun. It can make me want to hit someone, but I'm happy there. The customers make me lose hope in humanity by their stupidity, then remind me to keep believing in them when they slip me a five-spot and tell me I gave them outstanding service.

I'm also a Sales Associate at Gymboree. A kids clothing store. I love this job even more. The kids crack me up, my co-workers are awesome, and I've realized it is possible to go clothes shopping without completely ripping a store apart looking for what you want. Really people, it may be my job to refold the stack of shirts, but I can assure you, I have other things to do.

I've lost some people, and I've made new friends. 

My brother is no longer living at home, and I've taken this change harder then I ever thought I would. I haven't exactly "lost" him, but he's not exactly there for me anymore. We haven't always been the best of friends, but I don't feel right not having him around the house when I get home. He made me maddest I've ever been in my life, but he could also make me laugh when nothing else could. His leaving was unexpected, and caused a lot of drama within the family. I'm still trying to forgive him for that, but I miss him more than anything.

I have Uganda to thank for the new friends. I learned to simply relax around people I didn't know, and to be myself. That strangers weren't going to kill me, and that I might actually enjoy hanging out with some of them. It made me realize life is better if you smile and wave to the people who pass you by every day. Your world is brightened, and you just might meet someone who makes a big difference in your life. (I actually haven't made a new friend by just waving at a random person, but it could still happen, right?)

So anyways, I guess I'm done rambling now. I may be back later, maybe not. Either way, glad I stopped in to say hey. Hope ya'll are learning as much as I have been.