Thursday, September 27, 2012

What About Now?

I don't remember the last time someone asked me what I was going to do with my life. Aside from myself of course, because if it came down to that, the answer every time would be, five minutes ago.

You remember when we graduated highschool and it was the only thing anyone could talk to you about? What comes next? What amazing talents does this generation have to share with the world? We've given you our everything, now what will you give us?

A year and a half later, they've stopped asking. I guess they got tired of hearing the one answer I could consistently give. I really don't know. What a disappointment.

With another one of those awesome birthdays we all looked forward to from the ages of three to eighteen fast approaching, it's been on my mind a lot lately. What now? Actually, not as much that as, why haven't I done it yet?

The world has been sending me mixed messages. One minute I'm being told that I'm young, now is my chance to do the things I've always dreamed of doing. Now is the chance to see the places I've never thought I'd get the chance to see. "Why not?", is the only question they have for me, when I tell them I can't just leave. Oh, you know,



A job.

People. Mostly people. I can't walk out on them.

"Yeah, that's what held me back too. Don't make the same mistake."

Minute number two has other things to say. Most of them directly contradicting with Minute One, yet explaining to me that Minute One is right. Now is my chance. Wait, what?

My chance for what exactly? I still haven't figured that out.

Have I mentioned Minute Two doesn't make a whole lot of sense?

I work at Safeway. I'm a courtesy clerk, which is a nice way of saying, I bag peoples grocery's, and push carts. My co-workers are awesome.

I've lost count of how many of them have told me to find another job. One of them reminds me rather frequently. "Find something you enjoy doing, because if you can go far here, you'll do even better while you're happy."

I was talking to a friend of mine awhile ago about all of this, and she smiled and said, "it's like a real live coming of age story."

Right, only, where's the climax? At what point do I get hit on the head and come to with the knowledge of everything I've always wanted, and how to achieve it? At one point does everything boil down to the one moment that changes it all?

I guess I know my problem. I've been listening to the world to much. Thinking they're the ones I'm meant to please. Forgetting Who really matters, cause in the end, He's the one I'll be spending eternity with... gosh, and I thought, "the rest of my life" sounded like a long time.


  1. I so get this!

    I've been graduated from highschool for two years now and any time I ever talk to someone new they ask me what I'm doing with my life and where I'm going with it. Well, I'm staying at home, learning to be a homemaker because I know for a fact this is where God wants me right now. But people don't get that, they think I'm wasting my life. Why is being around my loved ones all the time and doing what God wants me to do wasting my life?

    *sigh* It is hard. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself and that's when I realize it's because I'm listening to the world. But you're right, they're not the ones we're meant to please.

    I really enjoyed this post! ^_^

  2. I'm not at that stage yet, but I think I know what you mean. I feel like I'm sort of in stasis, hovering between the last big landmark and the next.

    You know what? I think God led me to this post just now. I really believe that. I've been kind of stuck for a while, but what you said really spoke to my heart, and I think He is trying to get through to me.

    Anyway. Thank you. I feel calmed knowing other people out there go through the same things as me.

  3. I know what you mean, I've had something on my heart for a few years now, but I don't know what to DO with this thing?! Like how do I go about starting it, what am I even meant to do!? This post really, really spoke to me, thank you.
    One of my favourite blog posts is Collosians 3 v23 "And whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters" Just reminds me that everything we do is for Him :)
    And it's great to hear from you :) I hope you know that we're behind you in whatever you do

  4. I graduated this past May and I'm still at home also. I feel like it's where I'm supposed to be since my book is coming out this fall, although I am planning on attending school next semester.

    I understand what you mean by feeling like you have to do something, make something of your life right away. I honestly can't stand when people ask me these questions either. So many people think you're supposed to graduate high school, go to college immediately, then begin your career.

    However, I've always believed a little differently. No, I don't have to follow what everyone else is doing. But sometimes God does call us to attend college, or to use the talents he's given us to start a career. Yes, we have to be very careful that we're not following the world. But we also have to be careful that our family isn't controlling us either. What I mean is, sometimes our loved ones can be the exact reason we're not doing what God wants us to do with our life. Always be in tune with God's voice and make sure He's directing your path, no one else.

    For me, I have many dreams. And I know they're the ones that God has placed on my heart. I feel like now is the time for me to start chasing them while I'm young rather than staying at home for the next five years.

    The book I'm currently writing actually has a lot to do with this subject, so I'm glad you posted this. =) God bless!